Almost full moon.

Driving home today, I saw a huge full moon and a thought came to mind.

Years ago I saw a japanese animation called "Millennium Actress". I don't remember much of the story, but one thing that has stuck in mind ever since is the dialogue about "the almost full moon". One of the characters said "I like to look up in the sky on the night before the full moon. You know then that tomorrow it's going to be a full moon. After that, the moon will shrink little by little, and it will be gone." ... Not those exact words, but I think back on it every time I look at the moon.

Hope, I think it's what that character was talking about. It's a luxury and a privilege for one to have hope, no matter how big or small. When a question is yet to be answered, there's always a chance of it being yes, as well as a no. Hope. It is such a wonderful thing.

I just finished reading a script today, as part of my final exam to come up with its marketing plan. The story is about a corrupted man meeting a woman whom everything about her screams goodness. Of course, they fall in love, and, of course, he now wants to become a better man for her. Hope is what he finds in her, a possibility of a better way, a better life, of becoming a better man.

There are so many films talking about hope, shedding lights on it from so many different angles. To have it, to hold on to it, to give up on it or even to imagine it.

My mom said to me, just a week ago when I let slip a tiny bit of disspointment over things not working out, she said "don't expect too much out of people (and the world) or you'll get yourself hurt". For years, with those consoling mantra, I thought she was ripping out my soul and trying to convert me into a cynic. But I guess she was right in a way. Expectation ruins things sometimes. And if you look close enough there's a fine line between expecting and hoping. Until I'm smart enough to distinguish those two, I'd settle for being a romantic cynic for now. If there's such a thing in this world.

Change. Have we really changed?

I've been following heart-breaking news of Bangkok for the past week. I have to admit that at first, long before things got this (obviously) bad, I had a side.

I despised the former prime minister who put my beloved country in jeopardy for his own good. I got angry at the rumors and news that he's been insulting the King who has worked so hard for the past 60 years (I won't get into the part where I also see him as a human-being, not perfect, of course, but undeniably has sacrificed his life to the glory of the world's hardest working king). I agreed with the coup that took away political power, ok.. LESSEN political power, of a corrupted man. And I thought I was on the right side.

I can see now that there are too many sides. And as far as being RIGHT goes, who am I to say what's right? I don't have all the informations. NOBODY has all the information now even to say who did what, who's planning what. I realize now that it doesn't even matter what I think. What matters is now my hometown has turned into a war zone. There are far too many people holding on to the idea that they are right, so much that they are willing to shed blood of those who they believe they are wrong. There are enemies among us. How did that even happen?

The way I see it is that if you enjoy a person's death, if you celebrate the loss of another human's life, that puts you in a really bad position. A flag is needed to be raised. It is not normal! We are not gladiators who take away the opponent's lives for survival. We can survive without killing each other!!

It's true that it will pain me to see our country does not do well economically, or even diplomatically. However, what will shred my heart to pieces is to witness Thai people hunt other Thais down just to justify their cause. May I say again? It's not right!

Death is a part of life, so is compassion. Without it, we'd be laughing at each other in the face when life gets tough. And it does get tough. Disease, illness, natural disaster, not to mention mistakes in life we keep making. Are we reverting back to the animals we were thousands of years ago when we didn't know better?

Own our revolution! Be the human we are made to be. What's the point in hurting and killing? Life is short enough as it is.

The longest day.

It was a crazy day for me yesterday. I was out over in Glendora (east of LA) filling in for a friend waiting tables at another Thai restaurant. Of course, the pay hardly covers the gas and expense, but that's what friends do, right?

Anyways, I worked there from 10.30 am - 2.30 pm., drove back to west LA (that's 40 minutes on I-10, straight from east to west) , didn't even have time to shower as I intended to (it was a surprisingly warm day -- in the 80's) got changed and printed out homework and headed to campus.

I got on campus at 5pm which was 30 mins late for my group meeting for the presentation we were working on for the marketing class. Ninety minutes of chatting and debating later, it was time for class. Three speakers and amazing marketing discussion left me mentally drained and starved to death. I swear I could have fainted. Oh, I actually bumped my leg to a chair on the way out of class. That's how my brain stops functioning.

So I accepted an invitation to late supper with two other girls from my group. One happens to have been in LA for five years. We had so much fun talking (alright, GOSSIPING) about certain celebrities. ... I must put great emphasis on this... because it's the BEST part of my incredibly long day... So we were talking about one particular star and how his marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, well actually it's a bunch of law-abiding business contract, which confirmed my suspicion about the guy. So it went on to how his bride came about by an audition, yes an audition! And a question pops up in my head. So if this so-called wife of his, a mother of his child even, is in fact not his lover. I wonder who would be his type??? Then while three ladies were having soup, our minds had gone to such different places. It was hilarious, because we kept coming up with the most ridiculous, but vivid fantasy version of his lovers. I couldn't stop laughing.

So here you go, guys. Nothing is a better cure than laughter. You should try it sometimes :)